The Things I Want to Say

I process so much of my feelings and experiences through conversations.  I am a communicator.  If I can’t talk about it, I write about it.  If I can’t blog about it, I write a song to express it.  But then there are those things I cannot say.  Those things…the current pains that involve people close to me.  The disappointments that I keep holding onto hope for that has not yet arrived, and the sorrows I carry of dear friends who are trying to follow God’s voice in the midst of devastation.  All of these things make up my story and my life and for particular reasons cannot be said.

Maybe like Paul’s “Thorn in the flesh”, these things in my life are put there for a reason.  They cause me to lean on Jesus more than ever.  I need to know that His grace is sufficient even in my weakness.

Jesus was called “A man of sorrows, acquainted with grief” I know that He identifies with private pain.  He carried not just His sorrows, but the sorrows of the whole world–even the ones I am grieving over now.

I wish I had the answers that would make pain go away.  I wish that everyone knew that God gave them a gift of “free will” and it should be used to help one another and encourage one another rather than tear others down. I wish that life was fair and everyone was loved and encouraged. I wish there were no orphans, no broken homes, no mental illness, no sadness, no addictions, no pain. I long for heaven.

Like threads woven into fabric, our stories weave together in life.  Perhaps this is how God makes us stronger.  He takes my thread and yours and puts them together.  In His design, and with His skill he weaves a tapestry so complex and intricate.  Maybe when the fabric is finished and we get to see it’s design we will truly declare “You make all things work together for the good of those who love you and the called according to Your purpose!”  (Romans 8:28 my paraphrase).

I pray that you and I find the grace of God for our “unspoken” needs and pain.  I pray that you find encouragement and hope in His words.  I pray that you lean on Him and find Him more faithful than you could have imagined.  Then some day, I hope to hear your story, and I will tell you mine, and we will share the joy of fellowship woven through brokenness and made beautiful in restoration.

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5 thoughts on “The Things I Want to Say

  1. Going through a rough season as I carry a lot of grief for and with someone dear. I have a lot to learn about the endurance of prayer. That scripture about Jesus knowing sorrow and grief struck me a few weeks ago as I heard it in a song. Anyway, thanks for your post….I so identify with it! I don’t interact on FB a lot, but you have very meaningful things to share. Thanks!

    1. I’m so sorry Andrea.
      I have always known you to be someone who has great compassion and mercy. I know that your heart has been tenderized through grief and sorrow, but through it all you respond just like your Daddy God. I have always admired that about you.
      Thank you for your encouragement.
      Hold on. I will too.

  2. Thank you for being a prayer warrior. I know that can occasionally drain energy. I want to you to know that as a friend who loves you dearly, I am soooo grateful for you and your heart to pray for and care for others.

  3. Hi Cate,
    I love reading your blog. I always thought I wanted to write, but I am a speed reader and don’t like detail. I notice auhors use up space with lots of details. I love to communicate, but will stick to writing poems. By the way, I am learning the organ – have had one since Feb. and loving it. It fills a void in me that I always wanted to do something with music, so now I can for my own enjoyment.
    I’m sure you’ve seen the two grandsons. I hope they are doing well and having a great time, also. Keep in touch.
    Love you all
    Aunt Von

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