I process so much of my feelings and experiences through conversations. I am a communicator. If I can’t talk about it, I write about it. If I can’t blog about it, I write a song to express it. But then there are those things I cannot say. Those things…the current pains that involve people close to me. The disappointments that I keep holding onto hope for that has not yet arrived, and the sorrows I carry of dear friends who are trying to follow God’s voice in the midst of devastation. All of these things make up my story and my life and for particular reasons cannot be said.
Maybe like Paul’s “Thorn in the flesh”, these things in my life are put there for a reason. They cause me to lean on Jesus more than ever. I need to know that His grace is sufficient even in my weakness.
Jesus was called “A man of sorrows, acquainted with grief” I know that He identifies with private pain. He carried not just His sorrows, but the sorrows of the whole world–even the ones I am grieving over now.
I wish I had the answers that would make pain go away. I wish that everyone knew that God gave them a gift of “free will” and it should be used to help one another and encourage one another rather than tear others down. I wish that life was fair and everyone was loved and encouraged. I wish there were no orphans, no broken homes, no mental illness, no sadness, no addictions, no pain. I long for heaven.
Like threads woven into fabric, our stories weave together in life. Perhaps this is how God makes us stronger. He takes my thread and yours and puts them together. In His design, and with His skill he weaves a tapestry so complex and intricate. Maybe when the fabric is finished and we get to see it’s design we will truly declare “You make all things work together for the good of those who love you and the called according to Your purpose!” (Romans 8:28 my paraphrase).
I pray that you and I find the grace of God for our “unspoken” needs and pain. I pray that you find encouragement and hope in His words. I pray that you lean on Him and find Him more faithful than you could have imagined. Then some day, I hope to hear your story, and I will tell you mine, and we will share the joy of fellowship woven through brokenness and made beautiful in restoration.