I did it again!! Aughhhh!!! How is it I keep making the same mistakes?! I was a Martha when He wanted me to be a Mary. I had so much to do, so much to accomplish. I was doing all of it for Him. Okay, okay, I was doing a lot of my acts of service to compensate for the one thing He needed from me that I just didn’t want to give Him. You know, that one thing He always asks of me that I can do cheerfully sometimes and at other times just doesn’t even phase my radar screen.
I chose service. I served. I served lots of people, I made things more comfortable for others, even easier. I carried some extra loads to show my hospitality and servant’s heart. It put me behind a little….I was running out of time. Time to do the one thing He wanted me to.
Okay, what was it again He wanted from me? Oh, yeah, some quiet time with just me. I was getting to that…I just needed to put in a few more loads of laundry, fold the dry clothes, and put everything in order. There were these phone calls that needed returned and the pile of questions to answer in order to be ready for the next day. Wow! Where did the day go? I can’t even think about quiet time because my head is so noisy and there is an internal clock ticking away inside of me telling me that I really need to accomplish a few more things.
So I wake up today realizing I missed out. I goofed up. I was making sandwiches He never ordered. I made my agenda the most important one. I exalted myself all in the disguise of service. I’m sorry, God. What I really needed was just to be with you.
I want to sit at Your feet, drink from the cup in Your hand,
Lay back against You and breathe, and feel your heart beat.
This love is so deep, it’s more than I can stand.
I melt in Your peace, it’s overwhelming. (From “The More I Seek You” by Zach Neese (c) 1999 Gateway Create Publishing)