I’ve heard that you have been going through a tremendous trial of physical pain and loneliness. I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the suffering you are going through. I want you to know that I am praying for you and I know that God will make a way for you through this.
I overheard someone else talking to you about your trial, and though they meant well, the things they said just weren’t true. They told you to bear up under this trouble and be tough. They said you needed to prove to God that you were sorry for your bad behavior from the past and if you could somehow carry this weight without falling apart, it would be a good sign to God that you were really sorry for walking away from him in your youth and then maybe He would help you and take your pain away. They implied that what you are experiencing now is the punishment for your sins….but they were wrong.
Friend, what you are experiencing now are the effects of a world full of sin. Because of Adam’s sin against God way back in the Garden of Eden, the Bible tells us that sin entered the world through one man, Adam. Now there is pain, suffering, death, disease, lying, stealing, cheating, and the list goes on.
Specifically, you are experiencing a consequence of a poor decision. A decision that God forgave you for years ago when you repented. This is not a punishment that you can “pay for”. You cannot prove to God any kind of worthiness or toughness of spirit to motivate Him to take the pain away.
Don’t you know that He already desires to take your pain away? Have you not read Isaiah 53:4-5 which says:
4 Surely he took up our pain
and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
stricken by him, and afflicted.
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
He desired to heal you then, His desire is for your healing now.
In His crazy, wonderful grace and mercy, Jesus decided, before the world was even created, to bear the wrath of God’s judgement for your sin and mine. It was supposed to be ours…the wrath and death and eternal pain, because we are guilty, but Jesus bore it for us instead. He became sin for us. He endured death for us. He experienced the wrath of God’s judgement for us. He said “It is finished!”.
No more sacrifices need to be made. No more checks can be written to pay for our debt. It’s paid in full.
There is no Karma following you. In fact Psalm 23:6 says “surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”
Forever mercy and grace shall follow you because of what Christ has done.
There is no way you could quantify your good works against the righteousness of God. There is just no comparison. And even if you could bear up under the weight of it all by yourself, God has already removed the weight and placed it on His Son. You are invited now, to share in God’s pleasure. You need to know that God is in a good mood and so happy to see you and be with you.
Psalm 103 Of David.
1 Praise the LORD, my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the LORD, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
3 who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
Your Father in heaven forgave you the moment you repented and threw your sins as far away as the east is from the west.
18 Who is a God like you,
who pardons sin and forgives the transgression
of the remnant of his inheritance?
You do not stay angry forever
but delight to show mercy.
19 You will again have compassion on us;
you will tread our sins underfoot
and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.
You need to know that God loves you and demonstrated that love through Jesus His Son. He has already paid for all sin, so your payments are not necessary. You need to know He delights in you. Approach Him without fear. Bring Him your pain, confusion, lonliness and need. Let Him have it all and let Him be your All in All.
Know that you are loved and cherished. You are in my prayers.