Please forgive me, I have been thinking a lot on our discussion, and there are some things I just can’t “shake”. You dug in your heels somewhere…I guess I don’t really know when, and ended your search for truth. Maybe it was when you looked around you and saw people who claimed to know God, but behaved like the devil. You work with a few. Yes, this is disheartening to say the least. I can understand your hesitancy to jump in. Also, there are Christians who claim to love God and hate their neighbor…(i.e…Westboro Baptist Church) and there just is no coherent explanation for their dichotomy of espoused beliefs. This is frustrating to me as well.
Sadly, in the eyes of our culture, there isn’t a way to be disassociated from the Christians who claim to love God, but do not live the lifestyle. The world will always lump us all together, and there will always be abusers. Always.
There will always be thieves who will break into cars and steal them in the night. Have we refused the driving of automobiles? When was the last time we boycotted eating because the local grocery store tripled the price of food for tourist season? Because there are dirty people in the world, should we then disbelieve in soap? No. We reason that the benefit of using the products in question out-weighs the association with those who abuse/misuse, or ignore them.
Herein is your dilemma and mine: God does not cease to be real because we don’t want to associate with His “followers”, nor does He cease to exist because we don’t want to seek Him. God is, and God will be the same unchanging, all-powerful, immutable, all-knowing, completely sufficient, Creator, sustainer, and Fulfiller and Righteous Judge of our lives whether or not we ever give Him credit or acknowledge Him.
Now I know you said that you have heard that God is good, and even though you claim to be an agnostic, you seem to be hinging your life on the very fact of God’s goodness. You are willing to gamble with this lifetime and go on living “not knowing” if He exists, because somewhere in the back of your mind you are sure when your life is over, if you find out He does exist, He will have mercy and grace on you, and not punish you for your lack of knowing in the “here and now”. You are so certain for someone who claims uncertainty. So, let me point out something that maybe you are missing. Your certainty that you will be “okay” in the hands of God after you die, shows that your “uncertainty” about His existence is actually an excuse not to seek Him. You don’t want to know that He exists. And perhaps for the reasons stated above (as well as others I am sure), because once you acknowledge Him, you are then faced with a decision to believe in Him and that might shake up everything you claim to know. (And it will).
If there is a God, and if He is good, then He must have given you some sort of hint to His goodness. And if He gave you any hint at all to His goodness, then there must be a way He has revealed Himself to you. And if He has revealed any part of Himself, then there must be a way to know Him. If there is a way to know Him, then He is knowable and you are not searching.
6 Seek the Lord while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.
7 Let the wicked forsake their ways
and the unrighteous their thoughts.
Let them turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on them,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.
“If you want to know God, you must allow Him the freedom to tell you who He is.” Dr. Tony Evans